The Blind Dates

One of them swept me off my feet and then tormented me with angry outbursts often set off by trifles, like if I changed the setting on my car’s heater while driving him somewhere. He was a famous novelist with a belly and beard, and everywhere we went people took me aside to tell me how fortunate I was to have been chosen by him, how profound our conversations must be, how passionate our love. All these things were partly true. He wrote transparently about courting me in a story that got published in a popular magazine—a circumstance I found both flattering and mortifying—and sometimes gave his characters traits similar to mine that he considered endearing, such as my tendency to obsess over the diet of my cocker spaniel, who was sickly. I fell asleep while he was making love to me late one night, and he became so violently enraged a neighbor called the police.

One of them was in a band. He was a painter, really, but not at the moment, because he’d been working full-time for a religious organization, the sort that goes door-to-door, but actually he was taking a break from this to do something in corporate development. He talked very fast and was devoted to his cat, which he had named Weltanschauung. We met for coffee and talked about books. He had written a pornographic novel, and later I found some of his smutty prose on the Internet. He listened intently when I was speaking, and said that even if I never loved him, meeting me was the best thing that had happened to him all year; then he asked if he could touch my hair. He had a rare heart condition that might at any moment kill him: His heart sometimes stopped beating, and it took a defibrillator to get it going again. This frightening fact was revealed so casually I was filled with admiration and briefly willing to forgive the gesture with which he ran his palm from the crown of my head to my shoulder-blades, a sort of taking possession. I went to hear his band play their Indie rock in a cramped little club in Williamsburg, a place with real sand on the floor and drinks in bottles or plastic cups and the smell of cigarette butts. He played keyboards in a reassuring way, like he knew just what he was doing, but secretly he resented the bandleader, who wrote song after song about adolescent despair. My new friend had been meaning to leave the band for several years, but hadn’t gotten around to it.

One of them was an important man in his field and several years older than he’d suggested he was before I agreed to meet him. He brought samples of his work to show me, pictures of outdoor sculptures involving landscape elements—the landscape was the sculpture, but not the way it had been put there by nature: Things had been added, subtracted or rearranged. We talked for quite some time about the Spiral Jetty in Utah; one of my students had recently lent me a book on the subject. Robert Smithson, the artist who dreamed up this jetty and caused it to be built, truckload after truckload of little rocks tumbled into the water of a lake to form a spiral shape, had intended it to be submerged most of the time, barely visible through the waters of this lake nestled in the Utah countryside. But now, thanks to global warming, the lake was drying up and the jetty was no longer so much a jetty as just a pile of rocks on the shore of a rapidly shrinking lake. The important man spoke passionately about this jetty and the effect it had on him when he first traveled to Utah to see it. After a while, I realized it had been over half an hour since I had uttered a single word, though I agreed with the important man that the jetty was still of interest despite Robert Smithson’s failure to foresee the effects of global warming on his project.

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The Blind Dates

To class he wore jeans and little Indian sandals that were only a toe-loop and a simple leather strap across the top of the foot, and when he read poetry aloud he did something with his voice that made the words pierce all the way inside your body.



'Big Machine' Churns Out A Twisting Collage Of Crime

It made my eyes tear up. It even seemed to make my ears ring. I looked like I'd been hit by nerve gas so I used the toe of my boot to tug the sheet of paper toward me. But it wouldn't move. Using my shoe only tore it slightly. I had to use my hand.



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